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Consider it a golden rule: when people become worried about the stability of their country or the value of their country’s currency, they often buy gold as a hedge (like a back-up plan). Their thinking is that if their country goes bankrupt or a global apocalypse occurs, gold will always be valuable to others and therefore can act as a kind of universal currency.
However, not everyone is a believer in gold’s luster. According to Financial Times writer and economist Tim Harford, a good currency is "fungible, homogenous, non-perishable and easy to carry around." With this in mind, we decided to take a cheeky look at what commodities other than gold could work as alternative currencies…
1. Spam
World-famous economist and professor at New York University, Nouriel Roubini, recently proposed a tongue-in-cheek alternative to gold as a back-up currency: Spam. That’s right, America’s favourite canned ham. Well, it’s certainly non-perishable, but how would you feel about carrying cans of ham around in your handbag? Best feature: As Professor Roubini says, “Can you eat gold? No. You can eat and barter Spam.”
2. Mars Bars
The Financial Times once studied the price stability of Mars Bars, leading Mr. Harford to suggest this candy treat might be a better currency than Spam. It’s definitely more tote-able and more desirable. Furthermore, because it is made from cocoa, sugar, vegetable fats and milk solids, it has the benefit of providing a handy diversified portfolio of commodities. Best feature: A Mars a day helps you work, rest and…hedge the stock market?
3. Cigarettes
Ok, we’re not kidding around with this one. In post-World War II Germany, cigarettes were actually used as a form of currency. American soldiers were given cigarettes among their rations. They traded these to the Germans for Reichsmarks, which they then exchanged into dollars. One carton of cigarettes could fetch 1,000 Reischsmarks, when an average weekly wage was only 80. American cigarettes became more valuable than the national currency. Best feature: More people will quit smoking - who wants to burn money!
4. D.I.Y. Money
This one really works! During the 1991 recession, Ithaca, New York was struck by job losses and the local economy froze. The mayor, fearing that local businesses would soon shut down, took the radical step of printing a new kind of currency. One “Ithaca Hour” bill was worth one hour of labour (or about $10) and townspeople used these in exchange for goods and services with one another. Ithaca Hours are still used to this day. Best feature: It’s free!
5. Twinkies
Hostess Brands Inc. is going out of business. But, wait! Maybe there is a solution. In 1995, undergrad nerds at Rice University in Texas avoided studying for finals by conducting a series of tests on Hostess Twinkies to determine their flammability, electrical conductivity and general resilience. The result? The guys did graduate and are likely now inventing apps and dating supermodels. As for the Twinkies, the data suggests a potentially strong currency. Best feature: The golden sponge cake or creamy filling? Tough call.
6. Hanky Pankys
Yes, this may sound a little racy, but stay with us, ok? As Mae West might have said, when it comes to ladies’ undies - women need ‘em and men like to collect ‘em. Are those not essential qualities of a good currency? Hanky Pankys are popular among women of all shapes and sizes; they’re comfy, cute and roll up nice and discreetly for stuffing in your pocket. Best feature: This could make buying groceries so much more fun!
7. Clothes hangers
Don’t you think it’s time for clothes hangers to start multi-tasking? For years all they’ve done is hang around. But in fact, there are different levels of hangers that could neatly serve as different levels of currency: wire coat hangers as dollars; the plastic ones as fivers; wooden ones as twenties; and the satiny padded ones as hundred dollar bills. Best feature: the wire ones multiply inside your closet when you’re not looking – like compound interest!
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