Battle boredom - without buying a thing!
If a credit card is your therapy of choice when it comes to battling the blahs, consider what you’re really trying to buy
Have you ever headed out for a walk or errand run only to return with an armload of shopping bags? It happens to the best of us, and we certainly don’t discount the power of a little retail therapy every now and then. But if feeling bored, lonely or stressed often sends you straight to the shops, drop that credit card and ask yourself this: what are you really trying to buy?
The answer is often a long way from that new pair of jeans / yoga pants / handbag (insert shopping weakness here). And when it comes to spending your money, wouldn’t you rather put it toward something you truly covet (like a vacation or your first home), rather than using it as a proxy for something credit - and even cash - can’t buy? Yep, that’s right – personal satisfaction and self-worth.
Blah girls are so blasé
Being bored is often attributed to rich socialites with little more to do than spend money, gossip and perhaps star in a little reality TV. Most of us, however, have more things to do than we have time to do them - which may be part of the problem. A number of studies have examined boredom at work, which suggests having something to do isn’t necessarily a cure for feeling bored. A 2011 study of 102 office workers in the U.K. showed that a quarter of them were bored most of the time. And whether a lack of challenge or one too many repetitive tasks are the cause of this tedium, it often leads to unhealthy behaviours, including seeking relief in coffee, cigarettes, chocolate and for some people, a credit card.
Enter Holt Renfrew or Hermès. Retailers are great at presenting us with something new and beautiful every time we visit, which according to researchers, floods the brain with dopamine.
Essentially, shopping becomes a tug-of-war against your own biology.
Why so bored?
If boredom often leads you to buyer’s remorse, it’s time to deal with the cause rather than seeking a cure. According to research, there are a few key causes for a cool demeanour...
1. Lack of a challenge
There’s only so many times you can click “Send/Receive” on your email and still feel a sense of accomplishment. On the other hand, scoring a great deal on something on the way home from work allows you to arrive triumphant, like a warrior dragging home her kill. The problem? You know it...the only thing that’s been conquered here is your willpower. So, rather than spending when you’re bored, find another challenge to shake off your workday blahs (a 5 mile run or hour of hot yoga would certainly do it). Better still, amp up your game and get a new job that doesn’t make you feel so lacklustre.
2. Depression
Not all women are compulsive shoppers, but when it comes to vices, buying looms large, especially for those with a tendency to wave their credit cards and turn to clothes or cosmetics when their spirits are flagging. One of the largest studies on shopping and compulsive shopping came out of Stanford University in 2001. It found that 90 percent of compulsive shoppers are women. If you’ve ever battled a serious case of depression or anxiety, you already know that you won’t master it at the mall. Pay a professional - not a salesperson - to help you sort it out.
3. Anger
Coming home with a new pair of shoes is socially acceptable. Throwing dishes...not so much. According to a commentary published in the International Journal of Epidemiology in April 2010, boredom is also linked to anger suppression. It seems shopping is one of those behaviours that can be used to funnel hard feelings into something that doesn’t seem so bad. Compared to other destructive behaviours such as drinking or drugs, maybe it isn’t – until you can’t afford it anymore. If you find yourself shopping when you promised yourself you wouldn’t, find out what’s really bothering you - and find a better way to deal with it that’s both socially acceptable and budget-friendly.
4. Procrastination
Oftentimes we aren’t bored, we just don’t feel like dealing with what’s in front of us. That might leave time for shopping, going out for lunch or other activities that might not be in the budget...or on the to-do list. The (hard) solution? Tackle what’s on your list first. You’ll feel so much better for taking the initiative; and in the end, you’ll finally be able to sit down and relax, rather than head out and spend what you don’t have.
5. Loneliness
Shopping does get you out of the house, but while retail salespeople are decidedly friendly, they are not exactly your friends. Research has shown that shopping has some positive effects on people in terms of social interaction, which suggests we may turn to it as a cure for loneliness. A study out of Taiwan in 2011 showed that elderly people who shopped daily tended to live longer, largely because they were spending more time in the company of others. Seek out relationships that are based on friendship, not a financial transaction. If you have great friends and relationships, who needs retail?
The solution lies with you
Being bored isn’t so much a problem, but a symptom of something bigger. The next time you find yourself wrestling over whether to bust your budget to beat your boredom, think about what you’re really trying to buy (sob, happiness!). They don’t call it retail therapy for nothing.
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